Personally, I don’t believe in the premise that there are good days and bad days. Every day, we experience events that are seemingly good or bad, and to which we attribute some judgment if we stop and think about them. But most of the time, we don’t. We just go on until enough things happen that they jar the conscious mind and make us stop and think about what is going on around us.
Most of the time we exist in a trance state of some sort or another. We have habits that get us up in the morning, that have us getting dressed, eating, getting out of the house. And most of the time we go through these routines without ever noticing how routine they actually are. That is, until something happens. The tube of toothpaste is empty, or we cut ourselves shaving, or the shirt that you intend to wear has a big stain on the front that you didn’t notice until after you already had it on. And then, we react. Then we notice because we need to adapt to change that we didn’t anticipate and didn’t fit into our normal routines. And you get enough of these little adaptations going in a day, and a couple of things happen.
The first is that we begin to notice things because we have been awakened from our normal trance state and are aware of details we normally overlook. Secondly, this awareness is conscious rather than our normal subconscious state, so we have the ability –and usually the inclination – to judge what is going on. This judging then moves us into a different state that can be either positive or negative, but we are now engaged in the act of judging. And third, we can begin to track things that we don’t normally or routinely associate, such as streetlights that slow us down being connected to our being late to the car in front of us at the gas pump to the sun on the windshield that causes glare. And as these accumulate over the course of the day, we are increasingly aware of the goodness or badness that seems to be emerging.
Actually, the day is the same as any other, but our energy is different as is our awareness. And events can accumulate in a way that makes it seem like the world is operating against us. People cancel or change appointments; the bus is late; you leave something behind that you meant to take with you – all things that on another day might fade into the normal trance, the normal routine.
I have noticed that it is fairly easy for us to misjudge. One can either underestimate the significance of an action or over-react and get into areas of blame, shame and anger. In either case, it is not so much the event that causes us upset, but rather it was the act of judging that has now engaged us with past events in which we felt similar emotions. So, as an example, when I see that the pair of pants I have on has a stain on them, I hear a voice in my head that chastises me as if I were alittle kid who doesn’t know how to dress properly. This then moves me from a position of just observing the stain to shame that I am not wearing clean pants and EVERYONE is going to know it! EVERYONE is going to see that I don’t care about my appearance, and I am somehow inferior because I didn’t dress myself properly. You can see from this example that it is a gross over-reaction on my part to jump to this conclusion. In fact, most people are so self-absorbed that they rarely notice such details on others unless they are in the act of self-judgment or the situation is such that one must be pristine in one’s appearance.
So my take-away from the Bad Day when things like this happen is to give myself a break, breathe deeply and do something – anything –that reinforces my personal value. We are so good at seeing what is wrong with us, and on such a day, that may be all that we see. And if you are beginning to experience what you perceive to be a Bad Day, attempt to bring your feelings to a conscious level. You will likely notice that they relate as much to past events as they do to the present, and you have the ability to let them go if you choose to.