I was in Las Vegas the week before Christmas with a couple of friends to see all the outrageous displays at the hotels, and to just enjoy being away from it all in a fantasy world. One of my Vegas fantasies is to wander through the high end stores and occasionally be able to try on something that I know I have no intention of buying and most likely couldn't afford even if I wanted to. My friends generally don't indulge in this sort of fantasy life, but for me it's so much fun. After years of struggling with my size and my body image, to be able to even fit in these clothes is amazing, and to have them look good on me is such a reinforcement that all I do for me on a daily basis is worth it.
This year, there were lots of people in the malls, but there were very few who were actually in any of the shops. So when I ventured in to look at something, I was surrounded by eager salespeople, hoping to make a sale. And while I didn't want to abuse their kindness, there were a couple of things that caught my eye that I was just dying to try on. One was a fabulous red sequined dress at Diane Von Furstenberg that looked very demure from the front, but had a very open back and a train. Okay, where do you wear a red sequined dress with a train?!?
Anyway, I got the chance to try it on. Unless one is almost 6 feet tall, long evening wear is always dragging on the floor, so even with 4 inch heels I struggled not to trip over the hem. They only had 2 sizes available to try - a really small one and a really large one, so I went for the small one knowing it would likely not quite fit - at least I had an excuse for why I wasn't buying it. And while it came close to fitting, the next size up would have been the right size. Later, in my room, I saw an ad for this very dress in one of the promotional magazines. At the bottom of the picture, there was a simple statement: "Be the woman that you've always wanted to be."
That statement really captured my imagination. One would have to feel really good about one's self to wear this dress well. But besides that, what does it really take for me to be the woman I've always wanted to be?
And that's my thought as I get ready for the new year. I have discovered some of the elements this year that are important for me to be the person, the woman I want to be. Elements like health, personal fulfillment, a strong healthy body, an active mind that is doing things that encourage me to thrive, healthy relationships, etc. And while I haven't achieved all of these - does anyone ever fully finish with this work?? - I at least know now that they are important to me.
So in deciding my resolutions, I am looking to further fulfill this goal of being the woman I've always wanted to be. And in spite of all the critical and fearful voices from the past, I know that I am already on this path, that I already know what I need to do to have that dress fit perfectly. I know I can't grow 6 inches, but I can tone my body. I can choose how I want to engage with others, even if that doesn't include going to events where wearing a dress with a train is de rigeur. I can create the environment in which I can be the woman I want to be, even if I do it a little bit at a time, one day at a time.
And I wish for you the same inspiration - that you discover a message that moves you to action for yourself, that encourages you to move beyond your comfort zones in a way that you find nurturing, support, and a strong appreciation of your self.
Happy New Year, and may you be the best you that you can be each and every day.